NOT DONE YET

Dedicated to all who stay long.

NOT DONE YET

Are we drifting down...
Yes, I can feel the pull,
We're in the dark...
But we're not done yet.

Are we losing Sight...
Yes, and that's the thing,
It's getting hard to see...
But we're not done yet.


Are we dying to live...
Yes, and it pains to be,
We can still carry on...
Yes we're not done yet.

Your soul and mine...
Yes, they're lately dim,
We are still the Light... 
And we're not done yet. 
             
                                   SNN

NO REGRETS

No Regrets

"The meaning of life is to find your Gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."   Pablo Picasso

I am sitting in my Naturopath's office trying to explain the the recent changes in my blood tests and health in general. "I can't really explain why everything is different...why there are these improvements". Just 30 days prior, my health and life in general, were going down the tubes at a phenomenal rate. My blood sugar was in the diabetic range, my blood pressure way above normal, my cholesterol way out of whack, not to mention my weight which put me in the dreaded "morbidly" obese range. God how I hated the use of that diagnosis. Yes, the signs were not promising, but worst of all, I had pretty much resigned myself to my situation.  I had kind of given up...hell, let's call a spade a spade.  I had given up, what might be called a passive suicide, and yet here I am discussing this miraculous transformation. My latest test results are in and they are all showing that everything is back in the normal range.

"What has been different in the last month, than previously, do you think? What do you think has changed for you," she asks. She is a young, dark skinned woman, probably middle eastern, beautiful actually, with large brown eyes and an open, insightful and accommodating attitude. "Well," I answer. "I guess I signed up for another - tour of duty."What do you mean by that?" she asks.  "It means that I have agreed to be here on the planet for another while longer, and to be in service to humanity, and offering all that I am, whatever gifts I have to whoever can use them." She blushes ever so slightly, and then smiles.  "Don't you think it might help to reframe how you see what you are here for...?"

For some reason "that" had never occurred to me. It instantly made a lot of sense. "Yeah", I reply, "like I am being given another opportunity to share another facet of myself, to give all of what that facet of me  has to offer to the world...certainly a lot less struggle and pain in that outlook!" I reflect on some of the metaphors I have used historically. They suddenly seem totally inappropriate. One that came to mind was "that I didn't want to be found dead in the trenches with all my ammunition still in my gun" and another was that "when I cross the finish line, I don't want a drop left in the tank!"

I felt a sadness as I sensed lifetimes past where I had not given all I had to life, and to the people in my life. Lifetimes where I had given up on life long before it was over.  Lifetimes where I had not fully given what I had come to give. Lifetimes  where I had chosen to coast through to the finish line, my gifts  still intact, untouched, wrapped, not given, name tags and all.

The deepest regret from those lifetimes has been the regret of not honouring who I had come to be, and what I had come to share. No celebration, no honour...no solace.

I pull myself together with a shudder, and I suddenly feel her eyes on me...watching intently. I
become aware of the pulsating of my body, of the intensity of my passion, of the vitality flowing through me...I am alive and in my body. "What are you feeling she asks?" with just a glimmer of a smile showing.  "I am overwhelmed with Gratitude for the Grace that has been offered to me to get it right this time around...to love and give and love some more until I am empty and can give no more."

The war is over, the tour of duty is gone, and an adventure of love and sharing is opening. I am free to express it and share it in as many ways as I can think of, as big, as creatively, as fully as I am capable of in every moment in time. I want to scream my Gratitude at the top of my lungs, and thank the universal perfection, for revealing to me that the only things that could ever make me happy are sharing the things I came to share, and to cherish each and every moment and everyone in it...until I cross the finish line...No Regrets!

WANDERS, WONDERS, WHISPERS

"The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on."

I awoke this morning to another engagement with a blues quintet I now call "The Specters"-They are anxiety, meaninglessness, hopelessness, loneliness and despair. They are a group who have been together for a while now, and they like to play a brand of music best referred to as the spooky blues.They used to be a sextet until helplessness dropped out and got a day job. I must admit, when I first encountered them, I was not particularly glad to meet them. In fact, I was incredibly scared...actually "in terror" is a better description.

Initially, they were just very spooky, but later they became downright terrifying, and they threatened to bring the whole matter of my sanity into question. At the very least, they were gonna rock my little world...and that they did.

The Specters? They are not, and were not really "real", but rather they existed as potential experiential states, just below the threshold of normal waking consciousness. They derived a kind of psychic reality, from my willingness to give them my attention and imbue them with a power they do not innately possess, through my fear.

True, they do have a potential reality, within my psychic experience, but only to the degree that I choose to create a place for them through fear. I didn't know that back then, and to that degree, and of course my fearful response to them, they became real to me. A little bit like noises, in the dark, in a big empty house, there is the potential of making something out of nothing .

So why do I mention these?  Well, as I awoke this morning I saw that they were there again to keep me from all that I know is true and to keep me from hearing the quiet whispers of my heart and soul. I began to wonder just how many are being held back by these pesky little zeroes, and the darkness they represent. It is these little non-existent creatures that seem to "paradoxically" inhabit the areas of our mind that are just outside our comfort zone, and slightly below our conscious waking state. They seem to exist and seem to block us along a pathway to a higher, happier and more conscious state of mind. They keep us from fully pursuing our wonder, our deepest dreams and visions, and yes...our Purpose. Like the dark house and the noise in it, we are frightened off by the specters of darkness in our own mind.

It is possible through meditation, yoga, spiritual retreats and even music to move through these areas and to ignore these annoying blockages to truth. Perhaps for a few this is possible and this is the case. By and large, however, it seems most people have been spooked, and scared off of their journey by the dark specter of anxiety and panic, or perhaps the fear of the experience of emptiness and despair that can arise out of meaninglessness and hopelessness. I am not saying these experiences don't exist as potentials, I am simply saying it is time to find the courage to go further into the dark, and look and listen...!

Quiet whispers call you further forward into the light. Ignore the specters that seem to beckon to you at each and every turn. These are not your enemies, they are at worst an annoyance. It is safe for you to ignore them, and to keep moving, and if by chance you have given your power away to one or more of these shadow figures (as I had done), and even been ensnared by these illusions for a long time, it is still possible with and through the power of your own mind and heart to set yourself free. Do it, do it now!

If it is still too frightening to even conceive of, then ask for help, ask the Universe for help, dare to be set free and to live the life you were called to live. The dogs may bark but the caravan moves on. SNN

DAY797 - Late Night Ruckus - Running With Lions

POWER OF THE LIGHT!

 

I love the magical, inspirational, empowering message that Lexi Marie is sharing in this video. The night setting, the little lantern, a couple of candles, and the power of the voices chanting, praying, affirming, hell...SHOUTING..."I won't get lost in the dark".

 

Oh My God, Oh my God, how that moves me...yes, it moves me...
I've been waiting, and waiting for this moment for so long, and...
We've been waiting, we've been waiting, for this moment for so long,

Ooh No, Ooh no, Ooh no...we won't get lost in the dark!

Waiting and waiting and waiting for sooo long,

Nooo...we won't be lost in the dark!

Our moment's come, our moment's now,

And we won't go down in the dark,

No we won't, no we won't, no we won't, no we won't,

We won't be lost in the dark.

 

Thanks! SNN

  

 

HEART'S ON FIRE - Tales of Love from the Street

HEART'S ON FIRE ... Tales of Love From the Street.

She walked like a moose, newly born, all gangly and falling, and then again not...

Her purse and her cigarette tossed from side to side, in an east side balancing act.
Her course uncharted, led her into the street, where cars caressed her uncertainty,
And wolves looked on with licking tongues, watching, waiting, hungrily hoping.
I pulled over, although I am still not sure why, maybe I could help, but help what.
She opened the door, looked in and said "like some company...are you going far?".
I heard myself say "get in!" and wondered to myself what I was doing, then silence.

Her face is heavily pimpled, her legs are black and blue, her fingernails are...gone,
Like she had recently had to claw her way out of some desperate, deadly situation.
I haven't driven a block and I look over...she is slumped over and she is asleep.
"What now...?" My mind is drawing a blank, what the hell am I doing, I keep going.
"Just get her away from there...the wolves and the cars, and God knows what else"
I keep driving, Jesus, I am now beginning to feel like someone doing something wrong.
Christ, this is definitely not going to look good on my resume, God, what am I doing?

I find a parking space, about a mile or so away, and pull in quickly "so no one can see".
I hear a voice in my head say "And now...?"
"Umm...excuse me, are you OK?" I ask.
She stirs a bit, although still slumped and says "$25 for a hand job or $50 for a blow job".
"I don't want either...I just want to know you are OK...are you OK?" She is asleep again.
"You can't stay, I have got to go." I yell.
"You fucking owe me $25..." she says, "and drive me back!"

So this spontaneous rescue is not going quite like I had thought it would.
"I owe you nothing and you are getting out here."
She sits up straighter and says "you fucking pay me or else...!"
"I have got to admire her pluck", I think to myself.
"Or what?'  I say with just a touch of a smile.
"What are you going to do..."I say, my curiosity now getting the best of me.
"I'll stick you with my purple tipped needle of death..."

Now I am not sure whether I have heard her right, or its my imagination, a poet?
She is fumbling with her ragged purse, and I am tempted to laugh but instead,
I say, "You will what?"
"Stick you with my needle" she says, "I have Aids",
I don't quite believe her, but I am willing to acknowledge its a great ploy.
"How long have you had it ?" I ask, "Four fucking years" she replies and shares
 some of the details...which may explain her gait, and distressed physical condition.

I feel my heart begin to stir, and I look at her more closely and notice her eyes, and
her sweet, innocent and beautiful soul. and as if to break the connection, I ask her
"How old are you?" and she replies, "31". I ask again and she says "I am 24".
But the connection has already been made, and I can feel her heart and all its pain.
I embrace it. She starts to cry as I start the car to go back. "Here take this"...I say, and
give her what I have...she continues to sob, as we drive. "I felt your heart, and I know
you felt mine..." I say, as she is exiting the car, a block from where I picked her up.
"Love was here today" I yell as she is leaving. "I know", she softly replies and is gone.

________________________________________________________________________
There is, I believe, a place of judgement that assumes that the activities and behaviors of others..."what they do," is actually the same thing as..."who they are". It isn't!! This is especially so in the case of hookers, or even their Johns. My purpose, and the purpose of sharing this post, is that with enough love, grace and a little willingness we can all begin to rise above it.  SNN

PASSENGER - Heart's On Fire (Official Video)

HEART'S ON FIRE

I have often used this expression to describe the many Light-Bearers present and accounted for at this time in the development of the planet and mankind. People whose Love and Passion are so alive that it seems like their "heart is on fire". In religious symbolism, it has been called the "Sacred Heart" and is usually referencing the heart of Jesus and shown engulfed in flames.

The challenge for these sweet "Sacred Hearts", is that their purely personal relationships, while they can temporarily become the object of this love, cannot be sustained. When this happens, the Sacred Lover is left feeling like he/she had gone too far in love or loved too deeply or too much. It is possible for these relationships to become transformed and purified in the Sacred Fire of Love, but this is not an easy path at this time. SNN

I long for a Sacred Love, where my heart is all on fire, and I am all consumed in my lover's eyes, and yet born again each day...to share this love with you.   Anon.

WELL I DON'T KNOW WHY...

"Well I don't know how and I don't know why, but when something's living, well you can't say die, you feel like laughing but you start to cry, I don't know how and I don't know why..." Passenger

I Don't Know Why...

It's the third time in ten minutes and he is at our table again.  "Is there anything I can get you...?" I look up to see our waiter at our table ...again. I am with a friend I haven't seen in several years. We live in the same city, not really that far apart, but we just haven't been in touch. We are busy catching each other up...and there he is again, and it is beginning to get annoying.

I am not sure why we haven't been in touch. We like each other, and share some things in common, on a couple of levels at least - vodka caesars, unfulfilled dreams, and a deep desire to be of value to others in spite of our mutual distaste of people. I am in the midst of transitioning through a deep current of darkness and anger following an extended period of fasting and meditation. Go figure! I have decided it best to quarantine myself from my partner and son for a while in order to contain it. It is irritating and painful and I don't know why.

I have called her in an act of intuitive impulsivity, almost as if we've been closely in touch and there has never been any separation. "Hi Tracy, I am in the neighbourhood, are you free to go for a coffee or drink?" I ask. "I could be there in about 20 minutes..." Clearly, I had caught her by surprise...but I explained, "You have been on my mind for a while."  A brief pause and then,  "Umm...well OK...20 minutes, sure, do you remember where I live?"

As we sit up-dating at a local restaurant, a couple of caesars in...here he is again, for no good reason that I can see, asking us if we want anything, when it is quite clear that we don't. I am thinking, "Yeah, we would like for you to just go away!" As I explore how I am going to share that in some socially acceptable way, I notice his expression and hesitate for a moment...and as I do I am overwhelmed with a feeling of grief and sadness bordering on a level of despair. I forget myself for a moment, just a moment, but that's all it takes...I begin to feel a vulnerability, albeit a sanctioned vulnerability, that quickly turns to tears as I release myself to my heart, that soft and gentle caring part I keep so well hidden and buried deep inside. Those tears, those goddam tears, those tears that always give me away, that reveal to me and everyone else that this is no Joe Cool here...nope, this is...someone else.

"You wouldn't be a Pisces, would you?" I say taking note of the surprised expression on his face. "Why yes...how did you know?"  he replies. I choose to ignore his question and feel the energetic connection deepen. "You're not very happy here are you? "Well...uh...," he hesitates and I can see the question has caused him to feel uneasy. "What was it you really wanted to be doing.....?"  I ask, as if he might find that question a bit less awkward to respond to. "Well, actually I had applied to a school for the creative arts. I was not accepted." A sadness crosses his face and his head tilts slightly.  "I really had hoped to get in, but my application was rejected, and so I guess I just decided to get on with making a living."   His resignation and sadness were evident as he swept some nonexistent crumbs off the table. "Are you aware that I can see your sadness about that choice?" I asked. "Yes", he replied in a surprisingly relaxed way. "Do you want to know what else I see?"  I asked without really waiting for his reply.  "Your original creative impulse, which moved you to apply to the school, was the real, deeper truth here for you...but a part of you has given up on the dream of your creative expression... and the sadness of that choice has brought you here to our table. "Nothing happens by chance," I said, "and my friend, and if you could see what I can see, you would see that your light is still lit and it is burning brightly, just awaiting your return. You can make a choice, and you can make it tonight, to remember your gift and to set it right...!" He brightened and then brightened again.  "Thank you," he said. "Thank you so much, so very much for that." He smiled and backed away gracefully, leaving a quiet peaceful space where he had stood.

Three caesars later, he helped us smuggle two untouched drinks out of the restaurant in a soup container. I looked back at him as we made our getaway. He smiled quietly at the two of us and mouthed a silent thank you.

"And I...well all I seem to do is cry...and I don't seem to know the reason why...why I just can't seem to say goodbye"   SNN

PASSENGER -: "Scare Away the Dark" Live @ Wonder Ballroom 7-14

LOST IN THE DARK

I attended a poetry reading recently and in the midst of the reading, the reader took out her guitar and began to strum a rhythm that immediately caught everyone's attention. She then invited everyone to join her in chanting "I will not be lost in the dark" while she strummed the rhythm over and over. It was a very powerful, inspirational and moving moment and a statement of the reality we are choosing to create for ourselves during these times. "We will not be lost in the dark..."! SNN 

L

PASSENGER - Whispers (Official Video)

MY WISH FOR YOU:
That each of you, who hear this beautiful piece by Passenger, could simply take its flow and rhythm with you - in your heart, and let its intensity and power move and guide you from within, until all the outer noise and scatter fall away-and then maybe, just maybe-you will hear "a whisper". SNN

PASSENGER - Things you've never done

OUR DEEPEST REGRETS ARE ALWAYS...

It is said that once a point of no return is reached in our life (and in our relationships), our deepest regrets will always  have to do with ... the things we didn't do! Our relationship to a person is always a mirror of our relationship to our life. What are the things that you are being so right about now, in your relationship(s), that you would rather die than change. Make no mistake here, this is also a mirror of your relationship to your life. What do you feel your deepest regret would be if you died holding on to that position. Really...what has that ever accomplished for you. Wouldn't it be wiser sometimes to take a position that opens the door to a bit more light in your life, like "maybe, I am not totally right about this".  It doesn't mean you are wrong, just that you are not "dying to be right".  And besides, if you are that committed to being that right about whatever, doesn't that beg the question...why?SNN

LIFE PURPOSE

Life Purpose quotes:

These are here, perhaps, because one of them will speak to you, if not now, then maybe at some later point when you would least expect it, you will recall...

“Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.”  Cecil Beaton

 “I work really hard at trying to see the big picture and not getting stuck in ego. I believe we’re all put on this planet for a purpose, and we all have a different purpose… When you connect with that love and that compassion, that’s when everything unfolds.”  Ellen DeGeneres

 

“The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.” Pablo Picasso

 

 

“The important thing is that men should have a purpose in life. It should be something useful, something good.” Dalai Lama

 

 

“The main purpose of life is to live rightly, think rightly, act rightly. The soul must languish when we give all our thought to the body.” Mahatma Gandhi

 

“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.” Wayne Dyer

 

 

“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.” Og Mandino

 

 

“As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.” Carl Jung

 

 

“Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.” Napoleon Hill

 

 

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

TO ALL WHO HAVE JOURNEYED THIS FAR...

TO ALL WHO HAVE COME THIS FAR AND ARE UNSURE ABOUT JOURNEYING FURTHER....

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."- T.S. Eliot 

KONGOS - As We Are

The Call...

I once spent 30 days, on a journey of meditation, healing, and growth. Upon emergence, I all at once came to a realization that humanity..."As We Are"...doesn't stand a whole heck of a lot of chance of really and truly moving higher in our spiritual evolution. In that moment, it became clear to me, that without the conscious, courageous, living embodiment of each loving presence, and the enlightened expression of all those who have labored long in the service of mankind, and who still hold the light... we may well be lost.

And yet, even now, the Call remains, and echoes in the hearts and souls of all who would stay at such a time, for no other reason than they care that much and they still hold a higher vision for us all. SNN

PASSENGER - All The Little Lights

Our Little Lights...

Each unresolved trauma in our life can cause "a little light" in our heart to go out and as a result, the sweet gift that was there to be freely given remains, unwrapped, and hidden. We die a bit each time this happens... a bit of life, a bit of love, and a bit of hope, disappears. And yet with even a little willingness, a little forgiveness, and a bit of grace, we can choose once again to give our heart back to life, our light back to humanity, and our gifts back to the world.

The Purpose of Life Part II

The Purpose of Life - Part 2

OK, I believe this part is just a tad closer to the heart of the matter...in terms of what we may be experiencing and encountering on a human level. Just as beautifully done and a little closer to home.
If none of it seems to makes sense that may be because sometimes none of it seems to make sense.

The Purpose of Life Part 1

The Purpose of Life

This title seems just a trifle lofty by Swami's standards but is included for all those who seek a more cognitive and/or a less intuitive approach to life/spirituality. There can be no question that these are unusual times for humanity, or that there is more happening than meets the eye. The concept of Ascension is just one such thing. It may or may not appeal to you.

I include it because, in my humble opinion, its a close approximation of what cannot really be approximated. Swami loves these little paradoxical statements, (so please don't take offense), and it is very beautifully done. So please help yourself...