NO REGRETS

No Regrets

"The meaning of life is to find your Gift. The purpose of life is to give it away."   Pablo Picasso

I am sitting in my Naturopath's office trying to explain the the recent changes in my blood tests and health in general. "I can't really explain why everything is different...why there are these improvements". Just 30 days prior, my health and life in general, were going down the tubes at a phenomenal rate. My blood sugar was in the diabetic range, my blood pressure way above normal, my cholesterol way out of whack, not to mention my weight which put me in the dreaded "morbidly" obese range. God how I hated the use of that diagnosis. Yes, the signs were not promising, but worst of all, I had pretty much resigned myself to my situation.  I had kind of given up...hell, let's call a spade a spade.  I had given up, what might be called a passive suicide, and yet here I am discussing this miraculous transformation. My latest test results are in and they are all showing that everything is back in the normal range.

"What has been different in the last month, than previously, do you think? What do you think has changed for you," she asks. She is a young, dark skinned woman, probably middle eastern, beautiful actually, with large brown eyes and an open, insightful and accommodating attitude. "Well," I answer. "I guess I signed up for another - tour of duty."What do you mean by that?" she asks.  "It means that I have agreed to be here on the planet for another while longer, and to be in service to humanity, and offering all that I am, whatever gifts I have to whoever can use them." She blushes ever so slightly, and then smiles.  "Don't you think it might help to reframe how you see what you are here for...?"

For some reason "that" had never occurred to me. It instantly made a lot of sense. "Yeah", I reply, "like I am being given another opportunity to share another facet of myself, to give all of what that facet of me  has to offer to the world...certainly a lot less struggle and pain in that outlook!" I reflect on some of the metaphors I have used historically. They suddenly seem totally inappropriate. One that came to mind was "that I didn't want to be found dead in the trenches with all my ammunition still in my gun" and another was that "when I cross the finish line, I don't want a drop left in the tank!"

I felt a sadness as I sensed lifetimes past where I had not given all I had to life, and to the people in my life. Lifetimes where I had given up on life long before it was over.  Lifetimes where I had not fully given what I had come to give. Lifetimes  where I had chosen to coast through to the finish line, my gifts  still intact, untouched, wrapped, not given, name tags and all.

The deepest regret from those lifetimes has been the regret of not honouring who I had come to be, and what I had come to share. No celebration, no honour...no solace.

I pull myself together with a shudder, and I suddenly feel her eyes on me...watching intently. I
become aware of the pulsating of my body, of the intensity of my passion, of the vitality flowing through me...I am alive and in my body. "What are you feeling she asks?" with just a glimmer of a smile showing.  "I am overwhelmed with Gratitude for the Grace that has been offered to me to get it right this time around...to love and give and love some more until I am empty and can give no more."

The war is over, the tour of duty is gone, and an adventure of love and sharing is opening. I am free to express it and share it in as many ways as I can think of, as big, as creatively, as fully as I am capable of in every moment in time. I want to scream my Gratitude at the top of my lungs, and thank the universal perfection, for revealing to me that the only things that could ever make me happy are sharing the things I came to share, and to cherish each and every moment and everyone in it...until I cross the finish line...No Regrets!